Creating a New Life for Myself

Holly Case
6 min readOct 29, 2023
Photo credit: author. My orange boy is really snuggly with me now.

Life continues to get more interesting. It’s challenging but also very fulfilling and rewarding.

I’ve taken a full-time job since my husband died. While it hasn’t been an easy adjustment for me, I am doing exactly what I’m supposed to be right now.

Work is…work

I have to admit that for the most part, I thrive when I have to follow a work schedule. It forces me to manage my time well and I enjoy having that sense of structure, even if I lose the freedom of scheduling what needs to be done during work hours.

I don’t work during the hours I would prefer, so that has required some adjustments. But I work from home on Mondays and Fridays, which makes me feel like I have an extended weekend every week, and the hours I work allow me to avoid rush hour commuting.

I also have a great group of coworkers, many of whom are already real friends. I text with them outside of work and even hang out with a couple of them. It resembles a social life and I enjoy that. I’m still trying to bring joy and positivity to the lives of everyone I meet, which goes over well in the workplace.

My boss can be critical, which sometimes comes across as harsh. That’s not a trait I’m very comfortable with at all (and in fact, I normally run away from it.) But after some stressful days in which I needlessly feared that I’d be fired, I’ve now settled into realizing that this is where I am and what I need to be doing in this stage of my life. I still have the sense that the universe has my back but I also know that this is what I’m meant to do for a while.

Developing the self-discipline to learn a complex job is challenging. I was told when they hired me that I should expect it to take up to a year to feel truly comfortable with it. Needless to say, the perfectionist in me hates that. My normal M.O. is to give up on something if it doesn’t come easily to me (the famous curse of many former gifted kids.)

But having to suck at something — and being allowed and expected to do so — also allows me to see my own progress over time and gain a feeling of achievement as I learn more. I’m learning all kinds of good skills that will someday pay off handsomely for me as a writer (and I believe that things are already moving in that…

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Holly Case

Widowed young from a great man. Healing from generational trauma. Recently discovered AuDHD. Always curious and wanting to understand the world better.