Honest confession time: I’ve dealt with suicidal ideation for most of my life. It was silent for most of the time during my marriage but it always eventually comes back. I’ve been cursed by this since I was 6 years old, the first time that I remember wanting to die…

It’s Father’s Day, which is one of those Hallmark sorts of days that we only minimally celebrated before. But now that my husband is gone, it’s become an absolutely painful reminder of the fact that he’s not here and he should be. What we’re remembering is how great of a…

I’m beginning training as a volunteer crisis counselor. It’s work that is very close to my heart and matters a great deal to me. Even though I’m planning to continue my education and become a therapist, I’m already learning that some of the things I did in my marriage and…

I had a scheduled date last night. It was just going to be something casual, a dinner with someone I’ve gotten to know a bit better over the past couple of weeks. At the very last minute — after I’d already showered, put on makeup, and painstakingly chosen an outfit…

Lately, a lot of things are weighing really heavily on my mind. I thought that the solution to that might be to take a trip and get a change of scenery. At first, I thought of flying because airfares were so cheap. Then, I saw the total for four plane…

It’s been a rough few days for me lately. The reality that my husband is really gone continues to smack me in the face. I just want him to come back. But I know that that’s not going to happen and I have to struggle along without him. …

I haven’t written here in almost a week and I even deleted a couple of my articles. Writing again now takes an enormous amount of courage. My oldest daughter had a hard time reading some of my articles, as I’ve tried to process my many complicated feelings about my husband…

I’ve heard them so many times. If I had a dollar for every time someone has said this to me, it would pay for my graduate school education, at least. Let me know if I can do anything to help. I’ve said this myself to people before. It seemed like…

That photograph above was taken exactly one year ago yesterday. We were so happy. We had gone out to dinner to celebrate our anniversary in one of our most beloved neighborhoods in Dallas, dining at one of our favorite restaurants. It was during a brief lull in the Covid outbreak…